Ambivalence

Today I found myself consumed by my ambivalence
Lost within my mind, and yet lost in its absence
No thought to appease my insanity
No action to satisfy my vanity
You get one life, you get your choices
You can’t talk your way out of it, no matter how many voices
Speak up to fight for it to be different
You can yell and you can scream, but there’s no reset
I remember hearing my heart beat, in the still of the night
Dreaming of slow and steady waiting for the insight
That will tell me all the secrets that I have been hording
Hitting play and rewind like a worn out recording
No one really cares about anyone but themselves
They tuck feelings away like they put old books up on the shelves
Collecting dust, never even touched, never given a chance to feel
To be held in someone’s arms, to be given a chance to heal
Time leaves wrinkles, and eventually we all break
Some of us can’t help but be defined by our mistakes