So Easily Haunted

You have always been like a seed

You planted yourself in my head in my time of need

Made me feel wanted and loved and all of the things

That I had hoped you would feel about me

And you grew, spreading throughout my veins

Rooting yourself deep into my skin, leaving stains

On my heart, my mind, and my soul

And ever since, I’ve been trying to get something back that you stole

My heart beats on, but outside my chest

In the palm of your hand, clutched in your fist, you never let it rest

And after all these years maybe there is no getting it back

I see you standing there under the lights, and it all rushes back

The shortness of breath, sweaty palms, and racing heart

Just hanging on your every word, waiting for you to tear me apart

To tell me one thing, and do another, your actions never aligning with your words

And I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt

Maybe I should have known better than to listen to what you told me

But there will always be some part of me

That ran away with you to New York when we were kids

Who married you, took care of you, but reality forbids

Such daydreaming, it forbids the hope you gave me

When you told me I was the love of your life, why did you say that to me?

To be there as your relief in case something bad were to happen?

Your back up plan? Your safety net? Your second option?

You came back into my life hoping to get something back that you’d lost

And just when it’s ready for you again, you’re not willing to pay the cost

For something you told me you wanted

Has your mind so quickly changed? Am I so easily haunted?

By the memory of your ghost, that I’m sitting here writing this now

Knowing somewhere in my soul, that you would never allow

Yourself to love me again, it is not I who is afraid of you

Because I know that you love me, and you know that you do too.