White Sugar & Salt

My mind is a labyrinth
To which I am a slave
Wandering in my wonderland
Exploring every unwalked path
Trying to navigate
Through passageways
With dead ends
Searching for answers
For prayers
For some peace of mind
In a piece of my mind
Some corner I’ve yet to find
Some solution I’ve yet to seek
Some thought I’ve yet to speak
Where this mess makes more sense
To me and everyone around me
Can I still retreat to the silence
And find myself at home there?
Or will I always be a stranger to the solace
From which I once came?
The white noise fills my ears today
And every day
Surrounded by the grey buzzing
Of television shows, of music, of cars driving past
Some days I value the transparent nature of this sound
Surrounding me, so I am never alone, so it is always around
A constant consistent friend I can count on
I used to live in silence, with words and numbness
And then I sprinted into the fray, full of unwanted voices
My dichotomy is sometimes my enemy
Confusing the very heart of me
Demanding that I need things that contradict the very nature of themselves
The very nature of myself
Will everyone forgive me? 
Will they wait for me to be free?
When I am lost in my mind
What will I come to find 
What am I afraid to discover?
That there is a stronger person than this that I’ve yet to uncover
What is the big mystery?
Wherein lies the key? 
To the maze 
To the sometimes destroyed and other times utterly unfazed
Energy that lies within
Building fortresses and then leaving them in ruin
And then leaving me in ruin
I’ve got a checklist of dead ends
Roads less traveled by 
That have turned up dry
I’ve got to be soon to find the answers
She is mine and I am hers
My mind and me
It seems the answer is one that I already know 
Only I can defeat my anxiety.

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