Path of Least Resistance

Why do I do this to myself, why do these words define me
Why do I pretend that you can see what I see
You can’t always get what you want, that’s life
Is that my hand wrapped around the handle of this knife?
It has never left my mind, always haunting my thoughts
I keep raising my fists, but I have never fought
I can hear the mirror calling my name
Wanting me to stare deep into my demise, but I will never tame
Under the hand of my silence
So I succumb under the hand of this violence
Under the cold nights on the bathroom floor
Telling myself I’ll be okay if I just wait one second more
One more second and I won’t break the promises I made
Those thoughts left for a moment, but the scars have stayed
To remind me that I can never be perfect, never even come close
To this image that you all held of me, let me hold my pose
Here in this moment, broken, wanting things to be different
Wanting to tell you I’m okay, and want to have meant it
What is okay. What is normal. Whatever it is, it isn’t me
I’m so lost, I wish I could see
Through these tears, but they are the only things that stay
When the rest of the world has faded to grey
I need some assistance
Even though I walk the path of least resistance
From my own self destruction
From the words I forgot to mention
When you asked me if I would make it through the night
Before I go, promise that you’ll leave on the light

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

All my life.

I could write a million words I could bring the ink To this paper I could type until my fingers bleed But nothing will say what you mean to me And I have written about other girls Before But none have stirred my soul like you do None have made me want to dance And sing And play like a child And recklessly desperately try so hard to be near you I can hear you in my dreams Telling me you want me Whispering Humming In my ear A thousand times I've dreamt of what it would be like To be yours I've let hours waste away Thinking about your hands in my hair Twisting curls around your fingers Getting lost in the oceans in my eyes The music in your voice is a reprise I could listen to all my life.
Read more

"Big Skinny"

You stole my heart with a smile, and you broke it with a trigger pull You seemed so put together, but you really had your hands full Never feeling good enough, never living up to expectations You thought that you were failing, when all you needed was some patience And I wish that I had had that talk with you, where we share our secrets Instead of them weighing down on you, you could trust me to keep it You ask me where my scars are from, and I ask you why you want to leave Why you’re tired of being here with us, why your heart is on your sleeve You gave so much to us and maybe you took too much from yourself You, ever longing to fulfill a purpose greater than yourself I wish that there had been a better solution for you other than waiting Waiting for something better to happen, instead of looking to John 3:16 If it was eternal life you desired, then eternal life you shall get For you are the closest to any angel that I have ever met And I miss yo...
Read more

Crows feet.

I hope I give you crows feet From smiling Too often I hope that when our eyes meet Your knees go weak And your body grows heavy Because you mesmerize me The way you talk The way you walk The way you brush my body When you stand beside me To let me know you want to touch me The way you smile at me subtly In a room full of people I am the one That you look at like that And every time you turn your back I will follow I will swallow All my fear Just to be near You and your heart beating Because it feels like I’m cheating Fate If I don’t give in to the way You move me And I don’t even know if destiny Is real but I know this feeling is And it’s just too strong to dismiss 
Read more