What I Thought I Needed

I wish I knew what I was looking for
I wish I was stronger than this, am I back here on the floor?
I’d give anything just to know
Know more than the rain falling outside my window
Aren’t I better than this?
Can’t wait for the sun to fall so I can see what I’ve missed
When night has tucked me in
To this tomb where I can begin
To reflect in the muddy water that is draped around my ankles
My body is beginning to rust around the shackles
The tide is coming in, and I’m not running this time
Surrounded by the sounds of summer, even though it’s springtime
I can feel the sun on my face
I like the possibility that I may find my place
Twirling my fingers through my hair like grandma used to
Close my heavy eyes and sleep like I used to
The birds sing that song again
And I go back, remember when
Sunshine and familiar faces are all I need to make me happy
To pick me up from my knees and remind me
That all along I’ve just been waiting for this realization
Waiting to find out that when everything has been taken
I’m still standing up strong like you taught me to
You’ve been here with me all along, just what I needed you to do
You are my wings, lift me up to see
That you’ve always been there to carry me