If Only I Knew..

People say it’s impolite to pry, but maybe that’s all I ever needed
Someone to care just enough, or not enough to feed
On the things that have been eating away at me from the inside out
Tear apart my insides, dissect the pieces that are about
To swell and have me burst completely into thousands of smaller parts
Shards of painful pieces that have been putting pressure on the hearts
Of everyone around me, as I can’t find a way to cope
The razor never sharp enough, the paper never gave me the hope
That I needed to carry through this with a sense of fulfillment
I don’t want this, I wish I could be anyone else, to have just a hint
Of what it’s like to not hurt like this, to not want to cut each breath short
Cutting up old pictures and rearranging them to make them fit, to distort
An image that everyone else seems to think is okay, fool them
Or assure them that nothing has ever been wrong, but then
This, this floods over me, I wish I knew what to call it, I wish it had a name
I wish I had all the answers, and the reasons for this pain
Suffrage only goes so far, before somebody gets hurt, so who’s it this time?
Who’s turn is it to break, to fold, to stand in line
And wait patiently as their moment comes to fall onto their knees
To bow their head and surrender to the guillotine
Off with their heads, and off with mine
I want to know what’s wrong with me, so I fall in line
I am dragging myself through the motions and wearing this face
To make the world believe that I belong in this place
But I’ve never felt so unwelcome in my own skin
So what question do I ask now? How can I possibly win?