I See No Changes

You'll never know how much
It hurts my feelings as I clutch
My chest, trying to slow the rise and fall
Of my breath, giving my all
To try and get my brain to catch up to my heart
"She doesn't want you" it's not fair to cart
Around the thoughts that I think
Constantly on the brink
Of a breakdown
And it's all down
Hill from here
As I type out a message, backspace, the fear
Wrapped around me like a blanket
And I keep trying but I have to fake it
Fake the way I really feel
It won't make a difference what I say, the real
Trouble is you don't care enough to ask
How I've been, and it's such a task
To you, I'm such a burden just to know
And I can't show
What it does to me
The agony
Of never crossing your mind
And there's no common ground I could find
That would make it better
So I type out a message, backspace, stutter
And I put my phone away
Cause there is nothing to say
And it's not okay
But it's the way it is.

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