If You Really Knew Me

Anybody seen MTV's If You Really Knew Me? This is mine..

If you really knew me, you would know that I grew up without a father
He was so lost in his own head that he forgot that I was his daughter
If you really knew me you would know that I have scars
That deface the perfect image that I was tying to be, but it was too hard
You would know that I hug people and tell them I love them all the time
Because my mother rarely hugged me or loved me, and it's taken me a long time
To open up to people because I feel like they won't accept me for who I am
I act like nothing bothers me, and that I'm always happy, but it's a scam
I hate looking in the mirror seeing the things I have done to manipulate my smile
To make any trace of feeling disappear, it's almost like I'm numb, like I defile
The entire definition of human, I feel like I never measure up to standards
Everytime I feel like I make progress it feels like I start running backwards
My father says he loves me all the time, which I need, but now it feels like routine
Like he has to say it to keep me sane, so I don't return to where I've been
And now I am so lost in this world that I never feel like I belong
And people look up to me and they praise me for being so strong
But I am weak, and I am an imposter, and I will never forgive myself
For what I have done to hate myself
If you really knew me, you would know that I am not what you think
And the only truth to finding me out, is lost between paper and ink..

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